Fairy tale wedding for Hindu couple
Published on: Sunday, June 23, 2019
Text Size:
But while some may go to great lengths to have it done, including abroad with camera crew in tow, they decided it could still be done in Sabah with the resources available and one that is culturally feasible.
Kishore said it perhaps was his wife’s penchant for Bollywood movies where the prince charming gets his bride in spectacular fashion. “Initially, we thought of getting the groom arrive in an antique car to claim the bride. But this fell through when the owner of the antique car had to be abroad and would not trust it (old Mercedes-Benz) in the hands of someone else,” he said.
That’s when Rita came up with the idea of their son arriving at the venue on horseback, preferably a white one. We discussed it with friends who referred us to Susan Peggy Douglas who runs Glenora Stables in Beringgis, Papar.
The groom’s procession with dancing accompanied by musicians playing the Dhol, a loud drum used mainly in North Indian states.
The result on the wedding day was Dr Kunal Doshi, 32, in traditional Indian finery riding a white horse – albeit only about 200 metres from the Sri Pasupathinath Alayam Temple in Bukit Padang. The crowd roared as he saddled up and strode to the entrance of the temple to the accompaniment of family members and friends playing traditional Indian music. There was a lot of merry making, as the groom’s family members and friends danced and sang to the beat of two big drums (dhol) accompanying his entrance to the temple.
In a traditional sense, in the olden days, the grooms do come in horses or even elephants, something to signify that for that one day the groom comes in like a king and that is the grandest way that he can come in, said Kunal.
He said their initial plan was for him to come in an antique car, since his bride, Sai Kerisha, 32, will also be coming in her grandfather’s antique car, a Honda Civic first generation 1979, brought in from Penang where Kerisha is from.
The plan did not work out, however, as the person who was supposed to lend them car at the last minute said he wouldn’t be around to give his antique car.
The groom is wearing an Indian traditional costume called Sherwani. Groom entrance on a horse with his parents, as a sign of a royal entrance.
Kunal said he then thought of coming in a normal car like most wedding couples do, but then his mother came up with the idea of him making his entrance in a horse, asking him “What do you think about coming in a horse?”
“At first I wasn’t aware of this. It was just something that my mom had thought of and she shared it with my dad and after they thought about it then only they asked me if I was comfortable about it,” said Kunal who at that time had only ever ridden a pony during his childhood days.
Kunal admitted to being a bit hesitant about it at first especially since his wife-to-be is in the animal conservation line.
“We do not want any harm to the animals, we do not like animals being mistreated and that was my biggest concern, I was not concern about anything else, I was concern whether this horse that I will be using is fairly treated,” he said.
He said he initially was not in favour to the idea of coming in a horse and admitted to saying he did not want it for quite some time not just because of his wife-to-be, but because he thought it was something that is over the top.
“I thought it was ‘too much’, something that we don’t really need, why do we have to go through all that, why not come in a car, it is just about coming in, why do I have to get a horse and go through all that.
“But after all that, because of my mother and because she had this feeling of wanting to have something grand not for her but for her son, for me, she wanted something nice, and also because it was part of my culture, I eventually obliged,” he said.
The idea of him making an entrance in a horse was also kept a secret from his wife-to-be, nobody in the family knew about it until a day or two before the wedding.
He said he went to the horse farm and met with Susan who assured him that the mare, named Valencia, is most suitable.
And as the wedding day approached, a few of Rita’s friends came and decorated Valencia for the wedding, there were feathers and a lot of decorations.
“They brought in a few things randomly and put it on the horse to make it look beautiful,” he said.
The result was a very big pleasant surprise for his wife-to-be and her family members, as well as everyone who attended the wedding, to see Kunal on a horse, as everyone thought he would be coming in car, nobody expected a horse.
“After everything is done, the first thing my wife asked me is where did the horse come from, she was mainly concerned about the horse and if it was comfortable with a lot of people dancing and singing,” he said.
Meanwhile, Sai Kerisha, 32, admitted that her concern at first when the horse came in and seeing her husband-to-be on it was whether the horse was kept well and if it was mistreated.
“Animals have always been my biggest concern, I know my husband will be fine, but it’s just the animal that I just need to make sure that she’s okay,” she said.
All in all, she was happy with how the wedding went, as it was their intention to make it very cultural.
“He should stick to his culture and I stick to mine,” said Keisha who is of South Indian Tamil descent, while Kunal is from a North Indian descent.
South Indian musicians playing classical music throughout the wedding ceremony. The drum is called Thavil and the trumpet is called Nadaswaram.
Ethnically, the two speak different languages and have different cultures, thus making their wedding (North Indian style) very different from the many Indian weddings held in Sabah, where most if not all are celebrated in a South Indian style of wedding.
“The South Indian style, they do not have these big drums, they use more of a trumpet and other smaller traditional drums, South Indian wedding is very cultural but for the North Indian style it is very celebratory,” explained Kerisha.
“South Indians, we don’t have much dancing, it is straight to the religious ceremony, the rituals, but for North Indians, every occasion is about being happy and celebrating and so they dance and sing, it is very common,” she said.
And thus, the couple had four days of events leading up to their wedding which fell on June 6. Kunal agreed that that was why their wedding is something different for everybody not just because of the horse.
“The horse was just an additional thing but the main thing that a lot of people were looking forward to was that it was the first time having two different inter-ethnicity marriage in a Hindu temple in Sabah.
“It was a big event, a lot of people were there, and it was a new thing for a lot of them, a new experience especially coming in with the horse and dhol (big traditional drums).
As a parting advice to other young couples who wish to marry in a traditional way, Kerisha said she would always want people to hold their cultures close to them, even more so in a mix marriage.
“We shouldn’t loss ones identity just because your partner is of a different identity, we should always encourage practicing our own culture and also appreciating your partners culture , I think that is very important because we don’t know how long down the road we are going to remember all this,” she said.
She noted that a lot of the new generation being very modern and wanting to do things in a modern way that it might be just forgotten in the next 50 years to come.
“For me personally I would want to keep my tradition and I would want my husband to keep his tradition going and I would also want to know what his traditions are and practice that as well,” said Kerisha whose mother is Indian Catholic and father a Hindu.
“I also go to the church with my family and I go to the temple with my father, one thing that I really appreciate about being Hindu is that we accept everyone and every religion and I think that is very special because we get to do everything, we get to go to the Mosque, to the Buddhist temple, to church,” she said.
She said it is very good to be open to changes, to new cultures, to different people and different practices. She said having a mix-marriage is a perfect example of accepting other people, not being narrow minded.
“So many things going around the world and we need to be open to different things, different cultures,” she said.
Kunal shares the same sentiment with his wife, that everyone should remember their roots.
“Our cultures is very important, however insignificant, some people might think that , especially this generation, a lot of people feel that a lot of things are just a waste of time and a waste of money.
“Some may think why should we go for something like that when we already love the other person, we can just do a simple reception, but then these are things that can really make us remember our roots, our culture and so it is a good thing and it is a nice time that we can bring all our families together,” he said.
ADVERTISEMENT
