Say ‘I’m sorry’ to free yourself

Published on: Monday, July 13, 2020

By: Dr T Selva

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SAYING sorry is part of life and whether we are aware or not, we use the remark daily, and in some instances almost every hour.

Do you know most of us have no problem saying “I’m sorry” when we accidentally bump into someone at work, home or even when we are driving?

Such expressions are also uttered in an argument, for turning up late for an appointment, breaking something unintentionally, and the list can go on and on.

In fact, such types of situation are so common to us that the ensuing apology has become an automatic response with natural timing.

We are only human and everybody makes mistakes at some point of time in our life and it is noble to say sorry.

The magic word sorry is free and the moment the word is expressed, your heart feels a lot lighter and it eases your tensed nerves.

Apologising does not mean the individual is guilty but the word is so powerful that it can heal the situation where he or she has offended or otherwise hurt someone.

From small, I have been taught by my parents to say “I’m sorry” and admitting any wrongdoing on my part because it is regarded as a respectful gesture.

It is a valuable gesture and we should instill this in children from young to seek for forgiveness if they have done something wrong.

It is also the first step to self-improvement because it gives strength to the relationship to be more resilient.

But for some people apologising can be the hardest thing to do because they think it’s a sign of weakness and vulnerability.

Misunderstanding and differences in opinions are bound to happen in our daily life as no two persons are the same in any aspect.

When an individual does not say sorry willingly, he or she will have to carry a heavy baggage of unhappiness, anxiety and fear in their life.

This is because the guilt feeling is so contagious that it can be harmful to the person’s health and they will also feel tied down.

Many people do not realise that when you admit you’re wrong, you clean your past and get to sleep better.

Always remember that is it never too late to say sorry. The faster you utter the word the better the result would be.

In self-development studies, it is often stressed that never spend all your time trying to figure out who is to blame.

You have the power to rise above the issue instead and spend that time solving the problem. And by doing so, you will be able to accomplish your plans efficiently without wasting time.

Apologising means the individual is acting with integrity and being aware of how the person’s behaviour affects people for the good or the bad.

However, it is an individual’s choice to avoid any conflict or to face the music.

If you are unable to do so verbally face to face, do it in writing via the most convenient way now – text message or say it with flowers or gifts. What is vital here is your sincere gesture.

How someone receives an apology is up to them. All we can do is extend healing and hope for renewal through our courage of being accountable, apologising, and not repeating the harmful behaviour.

Remember there is not time that heals but it is what you do with the time to ease the situation.

Never underestimate the power of an apology because it is divine and has the muscle to transform people.

Apology pointers

- An apology must be sincere and avoid the phrase like “I’m sorry, but ...” “But” is a divisive word and can negate the intention of an apology because it sounds defensive.

- An apology should be specific and stem from one’s own awareness. Avoid the generalised “I’m sorry for whatever”. It indicates you don’t want to own your behaviour and minimise your apology.

- Avoid the phrase “I’m sorry you feel that way ...” because it is nearly always followed by “but.” People are entitled to feel the way they feel. The goal is to extend good listening skills to learn what led them to feel the way they do.

- Apologies are not purchased. A person may receive a large monetary award for a mishap, yet still yearn to hear words of apology and remorse from the person who caused the accident.

- It is never too late to apologise. We have the power to transform lives. If it is timely, all the better. Yet whenever we can apologise, even years later, it is the call of integrity to do so.

- Dr T. Selva is a speaker and author of the bestseller book Vasthu Sastra Guide. To get a copy contact 012-3299713. He can be contacted at [email protected] Facebook: Vasthu Sastra and Website: www.vasthusastra.com