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IF you were to tell your life story through a piece of art, what would it look like?

Fay Ulrica Lee, a Sabahan artist, did exactly that when she organised her first solo art exhibition in Petaling Jaya, recently.

In the exhibition entitled Breathe Easy, she told her “story” through a series of self-portraits and reflections, created across various mediums that include doodles, journal inventories, paintings, and digital illustrations.

“The exhibition represents an inner portal of self-exploration. The body of work exhibited predominantly consists of reflections of my catharsis process, such as a role of a memory, reaction to uncertainties, and specific emotions I have experienced.

“Breathe Easy is the theme and it means to be relaxed or relieved because you are no longer in a difficult situation. This year I was fortunate enough to be able to spend some time creating and learning about my passion. It gave me a sense of relief,” Fay told Daily Express.

Since it is difficult for her to put her feelings into words, Fay would often immerse herself in creative practices such as drawing, journaling, and even cooking to translate her emotions.

“My work usually explores the possibilities of contrasting softer and darker subjects or elements. I am fascinated with what being a part of another world would look like. “Even if I am drawing something familiar like flowers or a vase, I would want to play around with the colours and shapes to exaggerate them so it can seem like it can be part of another world,” she said.

During her early days of drawing, Fay spent most of her time drawing black and white pieces using her pen and paper. It was during the Covid-19 lockdown that she started creating digital art with the Procreate app on her iPad.

One of the artworks that she did during the lockdown was called “Survival”, which shows a person holding carrots and a dagger.

Title: Survival. This piece was inspired by the pandemic. It represents the restrictions imposed during the lockdown and the need to protect your family.

Title: Pray. This piece was also inspired by the pandemic. It represents hope during a vulnerable period.

Title: Death and Decay vs Life and Growth.

“During the pandemic, I was not able to go back home, and nor were my cousins. So I had to assume the role of someone who takes care of them (my cousins) and make sure that they are okay – that they had all the necessities.

“Survival shows how fragile we were (during the pandemic) and how we still had to take responsibilities that we were not familiar with at that time. The carrots symbolise how there were so many rules just for you to go to the supermarket to buy basic food while the dagger represents a ‘fending for a family’ kind of thing,” she said.

Another artwork that she did during the pandemic was a piece entitled “Pray”, which shows a person joining their hands together and praying. Fay said that this represents hope during a vulnerable period and simply hoping for the best.

Although the pandemic has settled down, Fay said that her Covid-inspired artwork will remain as timestamps of a period in her life.

‘In Space, I Think of You’ and ‘Death and Decay vs Life and Growth’ were her two most recent artworks, where she incorporated more abstract symbols and elements.

To some, Fay’s artwork may even come across as something that is rather ‘dark’ due to its imagery.

“During the exhibition, a lot of people were asking me (why my drawings were dark). It probably showed that I had a very dark side. But actually, it is not like that at all. It is just that I like the aesthetics. It is as simple as that,” she explained.

She also said that the subjects in her artwork do not resemble a particular person. She does not even refer to them as ‘people’ per se but instead, they are more like ‘creatures’.

“As a child, you are always drawing, colouring, and doing arts and crafts, Pendidikan Seni and stuff. The sad tragedy is that when you become an adult, you grow and stop creating and involving yourself in the joy of colouring. “This year, I realised how lucky I was to never lose that. Although I do not spend as much time as I used to creating art or journaling, I still use my drawings and little musings to communicate how I feel. It helps me to hone my coping skills and what it does is help myself to heal,” she shared.

More importantly, Fay believes that art has the power to heal and restore. “Humans are constantly working between their ideal and a real self, how we see ourselves, and how others perceive us. We want to reach our full potential while balancing our physical and mental well-being. What these pieces do for me is create mini timestamps of my memories and inner state,” she said.

Although art may not alleviate one’s anxiousness and pain instantly, Fay opined that it would at least help the person understand himself better.

She added that art also helps us increase our empathy, insight, and understanding of others.

When asked whether art can help those who may be struggling with their mental health, Fay said that art provides an escape for people to explore their thoughts and be honest about their feelings.

“Like many, I felt isolated and struggled during the pandemic. I knew that I had to make some hard decisions in order to grow. Making art and working towards refining my techniques was a starting point,” she said.

When asked whether she has plans to organise a similar exhibition here in Sabah, Fay said that she would love to do so if the opportunity arises.

“Definitely. I would want to organise this kind of collaboration with other Sabah artists. There are so many talents in Sabah who might not have the resources to organise an event on their own,” Fay said.

The 30-year-old previously worked as a product manager for a tech company for five years. She left her nine-to-five job earlier this year to become a freelancer to focus more on her true passion.

“As a freelancer, I have more control over my work. I can do stuff like voice-over recording, commissioned designs, and production shoots. I was able to make my own decisions on who I want to work with and what I want to do,” she said.

The exhibition was held from July 30 to August 7 and it was open to the public.

It received a positive response and around 70 people attended the opening ceremony. Fay even gave guided walkthroughs to guests who were interested in understanding more about her artwork.

Title: In Space, I Think of You. One of Fay’s most recent pieces.

Some of the pieces displayed in the exhibition.